Do What You Love, Keep It Simple

I've decided to share one of my favorite stories, which I found here:

'A vacationing American businessman standing on the pier of a quaint coastal fishing village in southern Mexico watched as a small boat with just one young Mexican fisherman pulled into the dock. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. Enjoying the warmth of the early afternoon sun, the American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

"How long did it take you to catch them?" the American casually asked. "Oh, a few hours," the Mexican fisherman replied. "Why don't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" the American businessman then asked.

The Mexican warmly replied, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs." The businessman then became serious, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

Responding with a smile, the Mexican fisherman answered, "I sleep late, play with my children, watch ballgames, and take siesta with my wife. Sometimes in the evenings I take a stroll into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, sing a few songs..."

The American businessman impatiently interrupted, "Look, I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you to be more profitable. You can start by fishing several hours longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra money, you can buy a bigger boat. With the additional income that larger boat will bring, before long you can buy a second boat, then a third one, and so on, until you have an entire fleet of fishing boats."

Proud of his own sharp thinking, he excitedly elaborated a grand scheme which could bring even bigger profits, "Then, instead of selling your catch to a middleman you'll be able to sell your fish directly to the processor, or even open your own cannery. Eventually, you could control the product, processing and distribution. You could leave this tiny coastal village and move to Mexico City, or possibly even Los Angeles or New York City, where you could even further expand your enterprise."

Having never thought of such things, the Mexican fisherman asked, "But how long will all this take?"

After a rapid mental calculation, the Harvard MBA pronounced, "Probably about 15-20 years, maybe less if you work really hard."

"And then what, señor?" asked the fisherman.

"Why, that's the best part!" answered the businessman with a laugh. "When the time is right, you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."

"Millions? Really? What would I do with it all?" asked the young fisherman in disbelief.

The businessman boasted, "Then you could happily retire with all the money you've made. You could move to a quaint coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, play with your grandchildren, watch ballgames, and take siesta with your wife. You could stroll to the village in the evenings where you could play the guitar and sing with your friends all you want."

What do you think? A simple reminder to live the life you love, and you will be successful at it? What defines success to you? 

To me success is finding strength, contentment, passion, and integrity in that which you do, through  the challenges, the times of nothingness, and the rewards. It just feels right.

Lucky for me, I had wonderful parents who always instilled in me, 'Do what you love, and the money will follow.' Here's a compelling TedTalk on the subject that many in the world are struggling with right now, and it involves much of the same advice, for us 20-something dreamers and doers.

I think one of the biggest challenges in life can be to know what it is you do want, to know what does actually make you happy. It sure seems like the simpler we live, the easier it is to know and do what makes you happy. Like the Mexican fisherman. He was content with life as it is. But for so many of us who want to change the world, who've seen expansiveness, who want to have an impact, where do we start? Here's an interesting article about happiness found in making a difference.

How do we make that difference? We start with ourselves and it quite naturally unfolds from there. It's about following your heart. Your intuition. And if that seems confusing or inaccesible to you, revert back to the good ole Eleanor's 'do one thing every day that scares you.' If it rattles your bones, you know it's making a difference. Start there. And know that by changing your life for the better, you are without a doubt already changing the world.

I hope you enjoy!

Please feel free to write me, or comment, with any questions, confusions, or for further insights!

I welcome them!

Namasté!

Bandhas Are Sexy

"Wouldn't it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself

so deeply that you would do just about anything

if you knew it would make you happy?

This is precisely how much life loves you

and wants you to nurture yourself.

The deeper you love yourself,

the more the universe will affirm your worth.

Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair

that brings you the richest fulfillment

from inside out.”

~Alan Cohen

*shared from the ever wise and beautiful Mystic Mamma

I want to thank all of you who have encouraged me on my path of writing and sharing my teachings. I have been so inspired through all that I have learned in this journey of expression and exploration. Writing has always been a creative outlet that has allowed me to fall in love with (or at least accept) myself over and over again.


Please read (and feel free to share) my first Elephant Journal article: Bandhas Are Sexy, because really they are!


It's been a rapid and transformative growing process, this writing thing, and it is only just the beginning! Come back for more tips and reads on acceptance, love, meditation practices, and just plain finding and living the life you love (i.e. that makes you happy).

What would you do if you were so in love with yourself that you would do just about anything to make you happy? Be your own best friend and share any musings in the comments below!

Namasté y'all.

Are You Aware of Limiting Yourself?

'To dream by night is to escape your life. To dream by day is to make it happen.' - Stephen Richards

It's so easy to limit ourselves.

I know, we hear this over and over again. But how can you make it not just one more thing that goes in one ear and out the other, and instead allow it to be something that finds its way in, gets into the nooks and crannies of your being and jostels thoughts or places that haven't seen any movement in truly quite some time. A welcome jostling that excites, entices, and makes room within yourself for new excitement, feelings of peace, taking the reins, and a new you?

So let's think. There are many different ways in which we can limit ourselves without even knowing it. And maybe you're one of the people who knows how much you limit yourself- by being all too aware of the low assumptions you have of yourself or by the amount of confidence you lack in your abilities. Well congratulations! Because at least you are aware of your supposed limitations and you've already undergone first step to making a substantial and tangible change! And those tipes of limitations can be among the easiest to change! Hello affirmations! Seriously, don't underestimate their power. See for yourself and free yourself (I truly believe that positive affirmations have been the single strongest driving force in allowing me to be where I am in life). Our thoughts create our actions, create our beliefs, create our realities, create our very own lives. Try it for yourself. What do you have to lose? Really?

And for the rest of us who also need (and/or want) a little work for how to search deeper or go within to free ourselves from our own limitations... well here we go..

Take a minute to close your eyes and silence yourself. Just take 3 deep breaths, focusing on the joyousness, rejuvenation, & potential that can be held in every single inhale. Exhale and focus on allowing yourself to rid your self of any doubts, fears, worries, expectations, and anxieties. Don't worry, it's only 3 breaths, you can always come back to the comfort of your own entrapment after reading this (or NOT!).

Now what do you really want for yourself? Let it be simple and be true. Who's here to judge? It's just yourself, be open to it!

Can you envision your life exactly as you want it? Do you even know what you want? Now this is the first step to truly creating positive change in your life- knowing what you want. Not easy, huh? Sometimes for me I feel it's really very easy to state what I want. But there are also times in life when it feels confusing and we honestly do not know what is in our best interests or in what directions to place our energies. In these times, it's best to take it day to day, moment to moment. Take a few deep breaths (or 5 min or 50 min) to ask yourself what you really do want in this moment. By finding these awarenesses, you will allow yourself to move through these stuck energies and emotions that are being felt or possibly repressed, and you will be able to come breath by breath into your own presence and your own understanding of what you most want and need in order to move onward.

Moments of silence contain profound opportunities for sitting still and simply listening.

'Unless you walk out into the unknown, the odds of making a profound difference in your life are pretty low.' -Tom Peters

Now this can be the scary step. Because for some people, this means fully embracing emotions that you've done a very valiant job of  trying to repress or abstain from, for who knows how long. OK, well guess what!? FREE your SELF! Let them go! Find a safe place within (a place where you feel completely calm and comfortable, accepted, and safe). A place real or imagined. Now visualize this place in your mind's eye, using all of your senses. Then let whatever most needs to come up, arise! From this place of safety, acceptance, and comfort, free yourself from whatever it is you are repressing or denying!!! Feel it. Embrace it.

'Too often man handles life as he does the bad weather.
He whiles away the time as he waits for it to stop.'
-Alfred Polgar

Maybe you tend to adhere to the appearance/ideal that you must always be positive, calm, zen, and yogi. I hear ya, it's tempting. And seems all too right to only want a calm compassion at all times- a fuzzy little reality that is blurred by sweetness and innocence. But wake up! Refraining from any 'negative' emotions or thoughts - well that's just yet another form of control, totally inhibiting yourself. It's not life or really even living. The universe is a beautiful swirl of emotion and complexity, dark and light, positive and negative, emptiness and loss, fullness and expansiveness. It's all one and by limiting our experience to that which we think we should feel or experience, we severely limit ourselves in the complexity of all that we are truly capable of as human beings and lively spirits! We're here to enjoy and experience, not control or anticipate!

'By choosing your thoughts,

and by selecting which emotional currents you will release

and which you will reinforce,

you determine the quality of your Light.

You determine the effects that you will have upon others, 

and the nature of the experiences of your life.'

-Gary Zukav

So embracing the anger, the sadness, the hurt, the pain, vulnerability, the depression, the fear... well it can be darn right scary or intimidating to start! But the more you start to embrace these parts of you in totality, the more you free yourself up for being true and for whatever goodness is looking for an opportunity to make its way into your life. So whatever you are experiencing, embrace it, experience it. And you will realize that these emotions that you have been so afraid of expressing, well they are not you. They are just a wave in the ride of life. But if you repress any one emotion, then it gets stuck inside of you, and you ride that same wave for the rest of your life. Or until you decide to let go of control and move beyond it, trepidatious but ready to embrace the new and the change. And soon you will decide to be open to experiencing ALL of what the seas and oceans have to offer. And come on, we all know how amazing the seas can be! They are full of sea creatures and colors and coral and mermaids and deep sea nothingness and brilliant reviving!

And if you don't choose to let go of the wave you're on (which maybe you've been on for quite some time) then eventually nature will make sure to throw you off of it the best it can. It will present you with new surfboards (as new ideas or people coming into your life), new opportunities, new desires, and oh so much more. And if you continue to ignore these openings, the universe will begin to present you with pain, illness, dis-ease, disparity, and despair as chance to listen. But the human will-power is immense and if you choose to stay on one wavelength (I'm not good enough, I don't deserve this, I'm not powerful, everyone and everything always gets me down, I'm not happy, etc), then you will stay there. But life will turn into an unhappy challenge- it will be frustrating, you will get lost, you will feel victimized and you will stay stuck, ending up in despair, frustrated with your life and all that it hasn't offered or brought to you.

Well guess what, I can empathize, but I don't feel sorry for you. That's the beautiful thing about the immense power of this thing called human will- as much as you can use it to fight the force, the inevitable change, you can also use it to embrace instantaneous and drastic positive change in your life, your mentality, your belief system, your every moment and being.

Begin by embracing your feelings. It might feel scary at first to let go of that control which we have all become so accustomed to experiencing, but slowly you start to get the feel of it and it feels right. The process of letting go actually allows you to have never felt better. And little things start to present themselves in your life, things you never would've imagined before now. Amazing coincidences, feelings of belonging, connection, truth, confidence in yourself, purity, immense abundance in health, and understanding.

Furthering this, I get that we all have different experiences, some of which have been very trying and difficult for us. Life has many different lessons to teach us and it is relative, yet some of us feel we've been dealt particularly unfair hands. Which is absolutely fair. But what I'm attempting to get across here is that we all have that deliciously innate goodness within us and that we all deserve to access and embrace this ever present part of ourselves. This part of ourselves that is buried so deep within, that is so full of love, truth, contentment, and acceptance that it is all encompassing. As we access it and allow it to surface, it allows us to ride the waves with ease and grace, knowing that we are not any one wave in particular, but free to ride the seas wherever they choose and wherever we are open to them taking us.

 'Feelings are like waves, we can't stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf.'

If you are dealing with some particularly dark or stuck emotions, beliefs or feelings, I encourage you to find someone who is neutral to you and who you can feel really safe in expressing yourself with. Maybe that person is through you and a journal (the benefits of free form writing your own experiences, thoughts, and feelings, cannot be underrated!). And maybe for now you just want to start with embracing your present emotions, not worrying on uncovering the buried and hidden layers of your past. Great place to start! Just embrace where you are right now, today. And notice that as you start to become your own mindful observer (instead of saying, well I'm just this way, well life's just this way, this is just how it happens), then things just flow and you start to feel such immense joy in following where life takes you rather than feeling trapped in your own person, your own past and expectations of yourself. You move from being unable to accomplish anything meaningful to moving into that really deep, settled, place full of the love and contentment that you deserve.

'Happiness is something we reap from the seeds we sow. Plant misery seeds and that us what you reap.' -Stephen Richards

Use these tips to move through your past and its continuous rearing of its ugly head to embracing your own reality and your new future! Mindfully embrace and move through those old stuck beliefs and emotions and visualize your new future and your new YOU! Decide what you want for yourself (no matter how big or small, how immediate or long term) and practice by being completely honest with yourself and with your intentions. If it doesn't feel right to say or do something, then don't, and if it does feel right to say or do, then do it! But lying to yourself or others only worsens a situation and lessens your personal powers and belief in yourself.  So trust in your gut and go with what feels right, knowing that the pleasure/pain principle will continue to guide you in the right direction as you become more and more open and accustomed to following it.

Whatever you don’t like and accept 

about the ‘perfection’ of your life right now will keep coming. 

What you believe is ‘missing’ will stay ‘missing.’

Be grateful for however it looks 

and more will come to gratify you.

~ Melanie Tonia Evans

Lastly, remember that our beliefs become our thoughts, which become our emotions, which become our breath. And this pattern is completely 2 way. So our breath is also a purveyor of our emotions, which are glimpses into our thoughts, and patterns of our beliefs.

So by tuning into and mindfully shifting your breath, you have the power to tune into and willfully shift your beliefs. Quite simply amazing!

In the words of The Peaceful Warrior (a truly exceptional story)... 'Let it FLOW, Let it GO!!', breathe, and enjoy the vast immensity of your own potential as you dive into the waves of life.

'The greatest weakness for most people is that they don't understand their own strength.'

Quotes & Reasons to Follow Your Heart

When was the last time you followed your heart?

So the transition has been an interesting one. I forgot how long it took me to recover from coming back from Argentina. I was gone for about 2 years, and it took me about a year to recover. It's like the supposed break up rule, it takes half the amount of time you were away (or with someone) to feel yourself again. I don't like to adhere to the rules, but to a general degree it does seem to uphold.

Culture shock in my Denver hotel.

Landing in the Bozeman airport overwhelmed with a sense of giddiness and euphoria. Wow. It felt so good to be home.  All in all I travelled over 130 bus hours, 8 flights, 4 time zones, 7 weeks, 4 countries, 3 languages, and innumerous life changing experiences.  So maybe it was simply exhaustion from so much, and a delayed flight meaning an unexpected extra night and early morning in Denver to top it all off. But part of it was also the majesty of the beautiful mountains we were passing over, the bright sunshine, and that wonderful sense of comfort you have from the place you most often choose to lie your head at night (and on your own pillow!). I was grateful.

And then about 3 days later I felt like I got hit by a car (or at least a passing bird) and wham! ended up sleeping about 14 hours, waking up feeling so disoriented and more than a tad confused. Wait, I had already done this adventure? It all really happened? Am I supposed to think in Spanish or English now? It felt so wrong to throw the toilet paper in the trash can, after spending the beginning of the trip training myself to do the opposite. It also felt terribly counterintuitive to drink the water from the tap or eat uncooked produce. My stomach almost revolted just at the thought of it!  

Llama/Alpaca/Vicuña Crossing!

But what a relief it all ended up being, even if there are things I will certainly miss. Like seeing llama crossing signs instead of deer ones, being in places that are celebrating 2013 as El año de la Quinua (the International Year of Quinoa- my favorite food!). I'll reminisce of the hilarity that ensued when buses in Bolivia stopped seemingly in the middle of nowhere, to let people off, and the guy travelling next to me would wildly exclaim: 'But where are they going?! There are no roads here, no places, no buildings, no trees, no cars to pick them up or people waiting for them, no nothing! Where are they going, these people? I am so confused, I just don't get what is going on when this happens' (spoken in a thick Dutch accent by an actual Dutch clown). Yes the nonsensical parts of other cultures are often the most endearing parts of being abroad.

And I'll also think back to all the cleansing that took place and the many layers of self that I shed so completely through new experience, triumphs, and tribulations. I probably won't miss all the horn honking or the seeing the stray dogs on the street, but good or bad I will continue to hold these memories fondly in my heart. 

All in all I have been content knowing that I am following my heart and that I am where I most need to be after having done what I most needed to do for myself. And while the transition is scary and tumultuous and it does make me question, there's not a doubt in my being that it isn't all exactly as it should be. I have no regrets, only hopes, gratitude, and patience.

What is like to be in a place in life where you feel like you've climbed this huge mountaintop and now you can just sit still and take it all in? Bizarre when you've just spent the last however long (week, month, year, years) climbing your way up to get there. It's so common that people will climb one mountain top only to immediately reach for the next one, because they simply feel like they always have to do something.

Well I'm here to tell you that we don't. That sometimes life's about just soaking in the sunshine, the accomplishment, and the waiting. It can be very frustrating (especially for those of us who like action), but I've learned that it's by far more worthy to undertake inspired action rather than just acting to act. 

Feeling free in Bolivia at about 14,500 ft.

What's the difference? Acting inspired just feels right. It's hard not to know what comes next. To just sit and wait. But I've learned that if you aren't sure of what to do next, what to say, etc. then you simply do not have enough information available to you at the moment and it is best not to do or say anything at all. And when you do feel that urge that can't be suppressed, then you absolutely must go for it and give it your all, trusting that the time is right.

Some good advice from the Tao on the subject: 'It requires absolute honesty and sincere self-scrutiny to discern the difference between being swept up emotionally by one's own needs, and hearing the voice of sincere inner guidance. The former usually demands a good deal of enthusiasm to bolster courage. The latter, on the other hand, can usually feel like water rolling off a duck's back, or a kind of inevitability when everything seems to fit together like pieces in a puzzle, revealing a bigger and truer picture. The best way to know that you are following your truth is to check out whether what you are doing provides a deep sense of meaning and purpose to life, however challenged you may feel at times.'

Heart Opener during the heart opening experience of Cowgirl Yoga.
Photo taken by Larry Stanley.

And right now for me that means patiently awaiting the things that I know are right, and being willing to fearlessly let go of that which deep down I know no longer serves my higher purpose. Again with the Tao... 'Let go is another form of retreat. Letting go releases the grip of over-identification with something, someone, or some concept that might have been useful or even precious once, but now needs to be put behind you. Attempting to cling to it is contrary to the Tao, and as a result would certainly be troublesome. Letting go makes it possible to energetically move on. 

The choice of migrating geese to fly south is not really a choice. It is common sense to submit to the changing seasons in pursuit of a more accommodating climate - especially when the alternative would be dangerous. Only humans are so foolish as to ignore the signs, preferring to hold fast even to that which is likely to make them suffer.  Retreating into nature is restorative by providing the space for contemplation and realignment with your subtle inner rhythms, and meditation is a form of retreat that can happen without ever going anywhere. Withdrawing from the day's busyness by turning your attention inward makes it easier to dispassionately evaluate the outer signs of change, enables you to make right choices, and renews a sense of well-being. Once you know that the time for retreat has arrived, don't hesitate to spread your wings and, with the wind at your back, move toward the new.'

I won't hesitate. And in the mean time I'll appreciate all that I have and the process of change and transition. For new things are on the horizon and I am more excited about them and about life than ever before.

What excites you? When is the last time you chose to really follow your heart, or even ask it for guidance? Is there something little that has been nagging you like stopping by to visit a certain friend, going down a particular street on the way home, or perhaps making amends that have been long overdue? Is there something you've always been passionate about but rationalized that it would be illogical or foolish to go after? 

Just go with it. Once you start trusting your heart, things become easier and more meaningful and life all of a sudden has this immense abundance that can't be turned away. It's truly a glorious experience that starts to fill your every day with meaning and contentment. And when it feels a bit rocky and uncertain, appreciate the words of my dear friend Vicki, 'Rocky is good- it makes you cling to your gut when in the face of loss.'

And as always, make the time to turn inward. As Vicki also says, I believe that religion is whatever brings you peace, and for that reason meditation is my religion. It works. But be sure to head this advice: 'If we are not careful, meditation can become just one more thing that we think we need to do to improve ourselves- an attitude of our perfectionist culture. In fact, true peace comes from being at one with how we are right now, rather than some ideal person that we hope to be in the future. If we view meditation as a process without a clearly defined outcome, we create a space in which to sit with ourselves, quietly observing our thoughts and feelings, allowing ourselves to be' (from the book 1,001 Meditations).

For those of you new to any form of meditating, don't let it be some big scary thing. It's simply a matter of appreciating and listening to your inner worth and guidance. This post on the Tiny Buddha website has some good tips for finding a way to access the peace that works for you, in a fun and easy way. 

Accept yourself, accept the process, and follow your heart. 

It'll tell you when the time is right to act and when it's best to simply sit still and breathe. 

And the more you practice asking it for guidance, the more obvious it will become what to do.

Life will seem wondrously simple, more fluid, and wildly fulfilling.

Why wait?

I think Einstein agrees, and here are some relevant quotes if you care to read on:

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."

"The only real valuable thing is intuition."

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."

"Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results."

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” 

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” 

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” 

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity” 

“Love is a better master than duty.” 

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” 

“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.” 

“I'd rather be an optimist and a fool than a pessimist and right.” 

Namasté Y'all.

Authentically PERU

Amazing desert sunsets in Huacachina, Peru.

How did I end up here? 

That's what I found myself thinking for a lot of the last week that I spent in Peru.You'd think that sentiment would've come to me often throughout my journeys, but really only until the last week did it seem so real and so true... so mind blowing and surreal were the locales and situations that I put myself in.

I had been in Arequipa when I knew that I wanted something more, that something else in my voyage was still calling out to me.  I only had about a week left, so whatever it was I knew that I needed to figure it out with expediency, clarity, and an ability to act. 

Huacachina from high up in the deceivingly massive dunes.

And so I did. An overnight bus and a motortaxi ride later, I found myself out of rainy and pleasant enough Arequipa and into mellowing into super tranquil and serenely majestic Huacachina- 'the oasis of the Americas'. A must see and something I knew I would experience before leaving Peru. I'm glad I followed through.

Pure fun, sand dune buggying.

Desert sunsets are among the best and in my one night there I was fortunate enough to experience one of the most incredible sunsets I've seen in South America to date.  During the day I was happy to try out dune buggying- like the best roller coaster ride you've ever been on, but longer, more adventurous, at times scarier, and with the addition of lots of sand boarding opportunities. You can ride down the sand like snow boarding, or fly down it on your stomach if you like. Every single time I went speeding down the ginormous dunes I heard myself laughing out loud and was filled with pure joy. A very freeing feeling and a welcome release of happiness and enjoyment.

Desert sunsets really do amaze.

My whole experience in Huacachina actually felt like the Universe enveloping me in a great big hug. A comfortable hostel in a warm, lush climate, a good restaurant, free computers with internet access and Skype?! Friendly, happy people with a wonderful blend of travelers from afar as well as Peruvians getting away for a day or so.

But that's only a part of what the action and planning I did in Arequipa had brought me to. Without even consciously meaning for it to do so, my desert oasis time was like a great big hug of comfort and zen before launching myself into the most remote and untouched parts of South America I have been to yet. I had been beckoned to one big last hurrah of adventure and journeying, whispering promises of the missing link to my PERUsing explorations being fulfilled.

So further I went. A six hour bus ride to Lima, a 2 hour terminal wait, and one LAST windy overnight bus ride later and I found myself tired, exhausted, and spent. In less than a week's time I had travelled in 3 different times zones, 2 different border crossings, 4 overnight bus rides, and a seemingly endless amount of travel and on the go. And for what?

Windy yet breathtaking roads, crossing the Andes from Huancayo to Lima.

To end up in Huancayo, Peru.

Why Huancayo, you might ask? Believe me a lot of Peruvians did too. It was complicated. Part of it was the chance to connect with the very first friend I made in Peru. I met Diego at the eco-village I started my PERUsing adventures with. And when I told him, yeah, just maybe I'll come visit you in your hometown of Huancayo, I certainly didn't think it would happen on that particular voyage. But as with visiting Leah in Oaxaca, Mexico, sometimes just being open to the possibility is all it takes to watch it to come to fruition.

I also wanted to get off the beaten path, to explore places that aren't on your typical tourist route, and to see parts of Peru that just seemed more authentically Peru. 

And my first day was rough. After an endless night of going from sea level to yet again about 11,000 feet, having literally crossed the Andes, no wonder my last overnight bus journey was a sleepless one. I'm sure my already worn out body was just screaming for oxygen, not to mention my yet again upset stomach and sore back from all the uncomfortable travel and moving around. To make matters worse, the first item on our agenda was heading to the vet's office, a stark ordeal. Pair the cold, dark, rainy outside, my exhaustion and nausea, with a vet performing all the procedures right there in front of my eyes, no separation between the waiting room and the examination/operation table, dogs walking all around you, and I was about ready to jump up and run home!

But the beckoning was still there and I knew I was there for a reason, so I pulled through and ended up seeing this area for what it is and what it has to offer. Culture, history,  and experiencing the Peruvian side of life that isn't all about thriving off of and acquiescing to the tourists from afar. 

Diego trying on traditional masks from his land.

Diego was a superb host. He showed me around the city and his love for where he lives is very endearing. He took me into the hills, small little villages, showed me plants, and displayed his love for his country. He was a beautiful plethora of information and is one of the most gracious people I know. I am eternally grateful, especially for him answering the vast number of questions and ponderings that came up for me. For one, I asked him how he knew so much about the local plants and their properties, their healing, their growth, their life. He told me his grandmother grew up in a very small, remote Andean village a few hours away and she had taught him much of what he knew. It fascinates me the people who grew up the way his grandmother did, their native language still Quechua, their harmonious nature with the land second nature.

I asked him to tell me about el Sendero Luminoso, the terrorist group that reined supreme for about 10 years, ending in the early 90s. I wanted to hear it from a Peruvian. From someone who knew, and  knew firsthand. He told me it started as a group of people who could stand being in utter poverty no longer and decided to take action in creating a better living for themselves and their people. The government was increasingly wealthier and wealthier, the natural resources were abundant, and yet the vast majority of Peruvians were still living in sheer poverty with no end in sight. 

So the Sendero Luminoso decided to do something about it and created their own guerilla movement, hoping for cultural and eventually world revolution (pure communism). But unfortunately the tactics they employed entailed pure terrorism, going through the villages and brutally murdering anyone who didn't support them, and putting the fear of death in those who did. It was 10 years of pure terror for much of Peru, especially through the rural, peasant villages found throughout the Andes. 

I found myself in just such places, areas that a lot of the Sendero movement had been based in (Huancayo, Ayacucho, and the surrounding mountain towns). It was surreal to have Diego walk me around, explaining all of this, while emphasizing that the very village we were walking through was a perfect example of a place that was under the Sendero regime. He painted a very descriptive and accurate portrait that left me a bit shell shocked- an experience I don't think I will ever forget and honestly don't believe I will ever be able to truly grasp, as much as I do try to understand and wrap my head around what happened.

One of the small faming villages we walked around in.

When Abimael Guzmán, the Sandero Luminoso leader, was captured in 1992, much of the organization's activities declined. Peru was given a chance. And for the most part it is on the up and up. But Diego also believes that a lot of the same sentiments are on the rise again. A vast amount of Peruvians, primarily those with indigenous descent, are still living in despair (the rural poverty rate is about 50%) and no means of improvement seems to be in their immediate future. Diego did however mention that he doesn't believe that such extremes to ameliorate this will be taken by the people, as it became very obvious just how much the actions of the Senderismo movement were only harming their own nation.

Village living.

I asked Diego about the state of Huancayo since the decline of the Sendero movement and he said that it was about 5 years ago that things started to improve. Prices had indeed increased greatly under the terrorist reign, but after time to recover, and finally opening up to foreign markets, the people in the surrounding areas have been able to take matters more into their own hands (as opposed to pure government or terrorist intervention) and see some real changes.

So they've opened up their lands and are now selling their abundant natural resources to markets and places far and wide and it seems to be doing well for them. There was a subtle sense of peace and relief in Diego's voice as he told me this, even a quiet tinge of pride that it evoked. And what are their precious natrual resources you may ask? As I of course did. 

Well there are many, but the primary ones are lumber, logging, and cattle ranching. Yikes!!! How many years is it that we've read about the horrid destruction of South American ecosystems, habitats, and ways of life all for hardwood, deforestation, and making room for cattle to roam. It's the most typical, destructive story you hear happening throughout South America over and over again. The environmentalist in me just about wanted to scream!!!

It's common to have cuy, the guinea pig you eat for dinner,
running around your floor during the day.

But the sociologist in me saw things from a very, very different point of view. As soon as the thought came to my mind about how aghast I was to hear all of this, it was immediately replaced with 'WHO CARES? These people deserve a chance.' And if this is their way to it, well then so be it. I was given the opportunity to see first hand what living conditions can be like there, and it's not pretty. We can sit in our comfortable, heated, air conditioned, luxurious environments in the States or elsewhere and say how could these people sell their land to the MAN?! But after having been exposed to their situation, and getting a mere glimpse into what these honest and deserving people are desperately trying to pull themselves out of, I get it, and I certainly can't say I blame them.

One of many wonderful breakfasts in Diego's home.

What do y'all think? I was utterly fascinated and grateful for experiencing the realities of the situation. I say how much big cities drain me and I emphasize living with the land, the herbs, the animals, keeping it all intact, but the rise of massive urban migration can no longer be a surprise to any of us. Diego's grandmother is a perfect example. At the age of 14 her father died and left all 10 of his children with no one to run the family farm, no way to live. His grandmother was fortunately able to escape to Lima and make a life for herself. It took learning Spanish (as her native tongue is Quechua) and leaving everything and everyone she knew- but it proved worthy. Her descendants are now well educated, have a decent lifestyle, and are able to have their needs taken care of in a way that enables them to really strive for happiness and depth, not just mere survival.

The main square of Las Pampas.

The last reason I want to these far out locales of Huancayo and the nearby Las Pampas was to see about a motorcycle. My boyfriend Alex was guiding his friend David around South America when David became very ill and ended up spending quite some time in a hospital Las Pampas (which isn't even on the map). He was treated there until he was well enough to be moved to Huancayo, receive another surgery, and then be put on a flight back home to recover and see his family. To get a better idea of what this experience was like for David and Alex, the surgeries, or simply to see firsthand a bit more of what these areas are like, watch this video. The video doesn't go too far into it, but things did not go so well. After everything that happened to David in these stark conditions in Peru and elsewhere in life, he decided to take his own life upon returning to the States. 

So at the end of the video where Alex says David would be back for the bike in about 6 months time, it was not so. Instead I went for the bike. Not to continue venturing on it obviously, but to bring back all the things David had left. It was quite the experience and definitely added to the surreal nature of the places I was visiting. But it was the final clue in what I had felt beckoned to go do. And in exchange for the sadness of having to go remove items from the motorcycle in this way, I was given the opportunity to delve even further into parts of Peruvian culture.

The hospital in Las Pampas.

I experienced a place that most visitors never go. A place where you are as far away from the comforts of home as you can be, where you see no other gringos for the duration of your time there. The parts where I felt like a minor celebrity or an alien simply for being different (especially being a tall, blonde woman), I could do without. But the parts where I got to touch someone's life and have an experience that neither you nor the people you interact with will ever forget, well that makes for the worthy experience of a lifetime. Men were asking to take pictures with the gringa (again that I could do without) and fourteen year old girls were asking for bracelets of mine simply to remember the experience by- the girl who came from afar to find out about a motorcycle and made them feel special and appreciated while she was at it. (Maybe it had to do with all the crystals I was handing out...)

The beautiful family who is storing David's bike for him, a connection I will never forget making.

I say it was hard to get to this point in my trip, but it was so worthy. I spent the first part of my voyages understanding myself better, and the second part understanding Peru better. So many of my preconceived notions and ideas were broken and altered. I felt what it was like for the people of Peru, their suffering, their glory, their pride, their bounty of a beautiful natural country, their majestic lands, their plight at the state of a world in distress. Yet their knowingness and deep found spiritual beliefs lie beneath it all, and that doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

Even Diego mentioned that now that he has found yoga (we did meet at a Hare Krsna yoga eco village after all), he has for the first time in his life developed a sense of peace, belonging, and confidence that he has never before experienced. Eternal optimist that I am, I can only hope. That the innate knowledge that so many of the people in South America contain can be combined with a better way of living. That things will start to balance out on a global scale, and that the beautiful connection many South Americans still have to their lands and heritages can be combined with a means for living in the modern world, happily and peacefully. And that we can cease destroying some of the most sacred and intact lands and cultures while we're at it.

My time in Peru is not over. How could it be when I felt so connected to the source every moment I was there?

My time in South America will be never ending. I am in love with these lands, these people, these languages, the feelings I have while I am in their countries. I will continue to be perplexed about what is going on as a sociologist, an environmentalist, an optimist, and an interested adventurer. 

What I've learned, though, is that you can't do everything, try to fix it all, or feel badly about what you can't do. What you can do, though, is think positively, be realistic, and do the best you can. I will continue to share my yoga as I have tangibly seen how it has helped so many and given people hope even in their darkest or most conflicted hours. 

And as Paulo Coehlo says, 'Don't try to be useful. Try to be yourself: that is enough, and that makes all the difference.' There is so much to be 'changed' in the world, so many people who need help or who have suffered. So many out there who want to change the world but just don't know how or aren't given the outlet. My advice, and Paulo Coehlo's- don't worry about changing the world. Work on yourself. On accepting, loving, and being open to making the changes when necessary. And in doing so, you will change your world for the better, and THAT is how we will change the world and bring it back into harmony. 

So look within, rather than without. Be honest. Be understanding. You will find the answers of compassion, direction, and acceptance that you seek. And in doing so you will find love, which can then be spread to those around you, far and wide. And our shared world will quickly be on its way to becoming a better, brighter, more harmonious, and enjoyable place to live.  I feel better already.

Expect to hear more here- further musings about South America, the States, social issues, adventure, travel, personal anecdotes, ponderings, and of course yoga. 

As well as gratitude, gratitude gratitude.

NAMASTE Y'ALL y gracias por todo.

Finding David's motorcycle at long last.