Sunday, September 13, 2015

My 120 Day Blessingway Celebration

Well it has been quite some time since I have written a post here. Most of my writing over the last year (or 2 years) has been through Elephant Journal, an excellent on-line platform.

I've also been going through a bit of a creative "funk," spending a lot of time going inward, rather than sharing outward. For those of you close to 30 who know what a Saturn Return is, you know what I'm saying.

And then this morning - BAM! - I had to get up out of bed and come to my computer out of a longing to write, to share, to express myself. I had hoped that this feeling would happen again, and damn does it feel delicious.

To see some of the writings I've been up to over the last couple of years on Elephant Journal, click here! And to read my most recent post to get you up to date, read my latest article "The Spiritual Surprise of Being Pregnant."

And now that you've been updated, onto what got me out of bed with excitement this morning.

I've been waking up during the magic hour for about a week now, that time before dawn when everything is still and dark. It's been quite annoying actually. Why can't I just sleep like I want to?

Most days I do go back to sleep. But today nausea got me up to drink some ginger tea and while I was at it, I decided to read from Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful, one of the books that has become my pregnancy guides.

"As you breathe and as you move, so will your baby throughout his life."

Enter fear & doubt. Upon reading the above quote in my book this morning I thought, "I'm not doing enough good, I need to be more active, am I taking deep enough breaths?, what about all the anger I feel, I mean road rage isn't a good trait to pass on, I should probably be doing every activity under the sun so that my baby has the option of it all." Yes, all in one sentence.

Ok, now breathe, Jess.

I had to remind myself that how I choose to see it is how it shall be. I CHOOSE to believe that I am providing a wonderful space for this new soul and that I am learning along the way. I am meditating regularly, walking every day. I am guiding my meditation class every week, and every week someone tells me how it has changed their lives for the better. I am manifesting a new house and learning to receive support and love in ways I didn't even know were available to me.

Continue focusing on the good. Continue holding the space. And then I read this:

In Kundalini yoga, 120 days marks the time that the soul enters the body. 
Similar to the Navajo blessingway initiation.

Which for me, would've been about yesterday. My 4 month mark.

For whatever reason my pregnancy brain had me thinking this was at the 3 month mark and that it had already passed by the time I found out about it. (Duh, Jess). But no! It is happening right now! How exciting.

So hey, if the soul just entered, I've basically just been given a clean slate, right?

Maybe that is why I felt feverish on Friday night? The anticipation of it all?

I was on my way to a Dharmata talk given by Anam Thubten when I started feeling not so well. I almost didn't go and honestly it was a struggle to give it my full attention. But I also felt so at peace while I was there, being in his presence and amongst others who are full of such good intention is well, quite the zen experience. At the end we were chanting, and one of the words we chanted is a name I will give our baby if it is a boy. Before we chanted that name, I saw a bright rainbow flash before my eyes. Yes, seriously. It was my favorite part of the night. It made me feel like our baby was talking to me. It was the strongest intuitive hit I have had since being pregnant and it felt delightful.

And that's just the beginning of the synchronicities of this 120 day mark.

At the beginning of February my dear friend Vicki invited me along with some of her closest friends to a girls weekend in Orlando. I wasn't sure I could go at first. And when it came time to book flights, I was in my first trimester and feeling so deflated. I barely had the energy to arrange booking the tickets, let alone feeling up for a ton of travel and unknown. I decided I would also visit my oldest friend Jenny while I was down there, to make the travel time while pregnant worth it, and also because I love Jenny dearly and couldn't imagine going to Florida without seeing her!

I am SO glad it all came through! I now get to spend the week of my "blessingway" surrounded by strong, beautiful, and powerful woman whom I love dearly. Women who play big roles in my spirituality but aren't around me daily. And I get to be on vacation. Living in lavish and luxury. With some time for just me and my babe, like when I found out I was pregnant in San Diego.

One of my fears in being pregnant is that I would lose my identity as a traveller. Turns our travel is already a major part of what is connecting me to this soul, and it couldn't seem to make more sense.

There are other major blessings abound to surround this weekend, this 120 day mark. One of my other far away, yet closest friends, left Saturday after having spent the past week with her, her partner, and their new baby (who is also my godchild!). Miraculous timing indeed. Today is breakfast with my big sister, dinner with Dave's parents, a Virgo new moon and eclipse, and my Navajo themed baby shower invites to go out today as well.

May the blessingway and celebration of this soul continue for many, many months to come. 
I am grateful.


The inspiration comes when the inspiration comes, trust that everything is working out with divine timing.

It is not necessarily about quantity of action, but more about quality of action.

Let every day - every breath - be a chance to start with a clean slate.

Life is magical and it is good to feel like a kid and basque in its wonder ever more. 

Won't you join me?

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