Monday, September 9, 2013

Moving, New Beginnings, & a Month of 'No'mance

Wow. Moving. What a trip.

I had to constantly remind myself during the move to make time for ME!
A hike up Storm Castle w my sister helped to ensure that I didn't go crazy trying to do it all at once.
Every day is to be taken in & enjoyed, or else what's the point of living?

In the past when I've moved, it's been me and a couple of suitcases, moving to a new country or new place, relatively 'stuff' free. Not this time! This was the first time that I moved to an apartment with all my things, all my furniture, all my junk (which I promptly got rid of), into another place that is just for me!

First off, I want to say how dang grateful I am for everyone's support in finding a new place and moving in. It was beyond incredible to know that so many were supporting me, even when I still did majority of the brunt work and elbow grease solo. That's how it goes, right, gotta put in the effort yourself, but knowing others are out there wishing you well and sending support, well it gets you through the tough stuff, right?

One of the many things I'd like to emphasize here in this post is being willing to ask for & receive SUPPORT! For some reason our society and culture makes it so challenging to ask for help when you need it. It's like if you can't do it alone, all by yourself, than you're not worthy enough. Not brave enough, not strong enough.

The Hutterite in my living room!
Well I call bull sh*t!!! Seriously! That's one of the things I've always admired most about Latin cultures- the sense of community where everyone helps out and no one is truly alone. Well it's true! If you want help, be willing to ask for it! The universe will hear it and help you, your friends will hear it and help you.

And if your friends are busy well then keep an eye out for a bus full of Hutterite to show up.

I'm not kidding. Right when I was going to really dive into the nitty gritty of the hauling, up & down stairs, workload.. well the Universe sent me a humorous and most appreciated twist of fate. A man in full regalia pulled up to my front yard (in front of my recently started free pile) and asked if I knew where there are any garage stores to be found. I was most excited to tell him that I had an entire living room full of items that needed a good home and were totally FREE!

This man and all the women with him came bundling up my stairs and took away half of my burden. Definitely an everyone wins situation. And in exchange they came up and brought me a fresh tomato. Perfect. Just when I was hungry and lacking in good, fresh food due to the transitional nature of moving.

It was such a welcome reminder that the more you give, the more you get. So whenever you can, just give! Offer your support and help. Because when you are in need, then there will be that same energy replied back to you, tenfold.

Repeat after me: 
Give, give, give when you can. Receive, receive, receive when you need!

While I was grateful for all the lessons moving provides, I was still exhausted from feeling so unsettled in the week that I was in between houses. I am a free spirit and totally movable, but I still most definitely need structure, routine, & regularity. Otherwise it's hard for me to feel grounded enough to balance my somewhat scattered & generally excitable energies.

But now I'm settling in nicely to my new place and am immensely grateful every. single. day. It's a place that is clean & clear (not full of a ton of other energies like my old place was). It's my first time living alone, and I have to admit I was a little trepidatious. The little girl within me wonders what creatures will come out at night. And the social butterfly within me was afraid of not having enough stimulation and interaction with others.

Again, just so not true! Instead I feel this immense freedom! I have an entire neighborhood and community of support. And when I walk in my front door I have only my own energies to deal with and reflect upon. Ahhhh.

Speaking of which, one of the first things I decided to do upon moving into my new place was instate a month of 'nomance' for my self. A month of no man, only me, romancing myself.

I was so tired of the distractions. Of not really creating time and space for just sitting with myself. This new place provided the perfect opportunity for getting rid of said distractions. No roommates, no other energies. Time to relish in it.

I felt convinced, but I was still plenty hesitant. I was honestly afraid to be lonely and feel alone. On my first night all moved in, my mind was frantic thinking 'oh I need to call this person, or invite this guy to come over, or get attention from this person, or at the very least lost myself to the mindless chatter of social medial.'

Nope. Nada. Not gonna happen. No internet. No man. No roommate. JUST ME.

And dang did it feel FANTASTIC! As soon as I faced my fears of being alone, they totally dissolved into nothingness and I began to remember what it is to fall so deeply in love with yourself that the whole world feels your oyster. I played Vivaldi, I lit a candle, and I wrote poetry. It struck an honest and creative chord in me that felt more pronounced and comforting and exploratory than ever before.

I wrote about my wants, my needs, whatever I craved to express. I reflected on finally feeling really healed from my first heartbreak that took place over the summer and late spring. I had taken plenty of time to truly grieve and feel through it, but after only just one night of finally facing myself, I really just let it all go. Now I can fully appreciate that man and the experiences we shared, because I can really appreciate ME!

I'm now focused on what it is I want. I'm taking myself out on all the dates that want to go on, eating the food I want to eat, just for me, because I deserve it. Approaching all men as just friends is also just such a huge relief. It's like there's new space for me to invest that energy into ME! My hopes, my dreams, my desires, my future, my beloved community, my NOW.

I'll be writing a more in depth elephant journal article on this soon, but in the mean time I pose to you this-
What is it that you most want to do for YOUR self?

Maybe it's walk around with no pants on, paint, or do yoga in the nude, like me... Maybe it's a new course, to tell someone new something totally honest, to share gratitude with your partner. Whatever it is, why not spend the month (or day or year) just doing it!!

My new yoga space for all you Viva My Yoginis.
And, of course, for me.
A dream come true.

It's a pretty FANTASTIC feeling to fall back in love with yourself again and again. We all need these times and spaces in our lives to come back to being present with ourselves, facing our silence, and letting the creative unknown make itself known through us.

Why not start today? Do something just for YOU!

I am so excited about all that I will be offering through VivaMyYoga here in the Fall, lots of wonderful at home goodies and videos, just for all of you!! But in the mean time, I'm taking my time settling in, remembering that life is too short to hurry through it, and practicing the balance between action and stillness. I'll get these new offerings out to all of you soon, when the timing is just right.

Namasté y'all.

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